I should start charging for you to sit outside my bathroom door as a I shower.

I take the greatest showers on planet Earth. For in those moments, I can spit and bellow out every song I know to my little heart’s content. This is every shower. Ask my family, ask my roommates. Every shower, non-stop, two-to-three different songs a day.

My cleansing ritual is not complete without the proper accompaniment. It separates me from the typical bather. I’m talking shower playlists. After five years, I have developed the perfect formula:

1. List out every song you know all or most of the words to (even if you just think a certain chorus is bad@$$) and shove them in a playlist.
2. Shuffle them up to your choosing.
3. Play from the top when you shower, delete as you progress (deleting just makes the process easier to when you start a new one). You should be getting through a couple songs per cleaning, depending on the length.
4. Whittle your way down until they are gone and restart the process.

When I first started this, I think I had 600 songs or so. I finished my new list and this was the result:

Yeah. I can sing along to that many songs: 1054. I challenge anyone to a sing-off.

This is how important my showers are to me, enough to write 300 words about. It is the one time of day I can be center stage and – in my head – I am a stud. It took me about two hours to make that list, so yes, I take my showers seriously.

I also take my performances seriously. I will be selling tickets at the door.