Beating Paul Rudd in a Lip-Syncing Contest

Oh, Paul Rudd, you crafty devil.

Halfway through Rudd’s first performance in the above clip, I thought about what song I would use to lay Jimmy Fallon to waste in a lip-syncing contest.

That song had to build. It had to melt faces. It had to lend itself to interpretive dance. Within seconds, the prefect jam came to mind.

Then, sure enough, Rudd whips out the very song I was thinking of and curb-stomps Fallon’s “Jukebox Hero” into oblivion. You cannot stop Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now.”

It was a pretty solid performance by Rudd. The camera switch was a nice touch, he emphasized the gestures and forced Fallon to concede before he could get to his second song. Verse two is where the real magic happens, so I would have loved to see what he did with those lyrics.

Regardless, why was he being so bashful at the end? Dude, you owned him, now own the moment.

So now, with my ideal lip-syncing material off limits out of principle, I’m reserved to making a list to which I can refer anytime Paul Rudd challenges me to a lip-sync contest. Because that happens.

Here are my five “secret” weapons that I’m willing to share, off camera. My tactic is to overwhelm the target with pure passion and adrenaline.

These songs were selected based off the assumption that the performance would end after the first chorus:

Neon Trees – “Lessons in Love (All Day, All Night)”
How I’ll Win: I’ll find the closet object I can stand on and cast a dark seduction over the audience. Once the chorus drops, I’ll go full diva and use the hands, hips and power walk to the best of my ability.

I’ll have to do some moves I won’t be comfortable with, but glory doesn’t take that into consideration.

Lip-syncing is an out-of-body experience. Remember that.

N’Sync – “I’ll Never Stop”
How I’ll Win:
 Boy band songs beg for accompanying gestures and this track is ripe for picking.

After I act out words like “regret,” “loser,” “sun” and “one,” I’ll have the audience in tears. Once I hit the hook, you’re done.

Scorpions – “No One Like You”
How I’ll Win: I wish there was a less popular song by these guys to feature, but there just isn’t. It’s perfect for this setting, though it won’t be easy to perform.

Open with a little guitar shredding (I’d have to learn the chords for authenticity) then the music dies down for the bleeding heart vocals. There are a couple screeches in there that I’d have to sell to keep people interested.

The chorus will be tricky since it tends to jerk around. You can combat that with a power stance.

Adele – “Set Fire to the Rain”
How I’ll Win: The key to harnessing the power of an intense ballad is to feel it. The flooding of the eyes, the grasping of dead air, the falling to the knees, the palpable despair. I’m getting chills as I write this, if that tells you anything.

Fall Out Boy – “The Phoenix”
How I’ll Win: I will have literal warpaint prepared for the opening line and I will further batter the opposition into feeble submission with pyrotechnics.

This song has “audience participation” painted all over it. During the instrumentals, I’ll motion to the crowd to intensify the already thunderous beat. For a personal touch, I’ll get in my opponent’s face 8-Mile style for the chorus. Before I exit the stage to insane applause, I will drop the mic. Just because.

If I ever meet Paul Rudd, which is totally feasible since we graduated from the same high school, I will bury him.

I’m interested in hearing your lip-syncing songs of choice.

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